I haven't blogged in so long. It's crazy reading my posts before. So maybe I should update you on my life. Well from March of 2011 and on ... I graduated high school in May. I was accepted to 8 of the 10 schools I applied to. Ended up going to Emmanuel College. I got my license at the end of June and been driving since. Sti don't have a car. I have a man (sort of) not sure how I feel about it yet. I'm not a virgin anymore. I might like sex a little too much. I still am in love with my ex. I feel like it won't go away. I entered college in the fall of 2011. I turned 19 years old on my birthday. It was good, except I missed the way my friends and family celebrated my birthday. College is alright. I've been drinking, but I haven't gotten drunk. I've gone out a few times, but not enough. I want to change that. I finished my first semester of college! Yay I can actually survive. I was worried about some of my grades for the end, but I think I did alright. I took Bio and Chem with labs. A first year seminar that I hated. Precalculus( which was a pain in my ass. Thank god it's over. I hated that teacher so much). And an online itech excel class. I am on winter break right now until Jan 18. My schedule for my semester is busy. Bio and ch with labs again. Sociology:intro to anthropology. Women on religion. And history of musical theatre. I might like classes but I might not. So I have brought you up to date with my life. A little short but that's the important stuff (except the part of sex). Lol well I really should be sleeping because it is really late. Hopefully I'll remember to post things now that I remember the longin.
Till then,
Pammm
Monday, December 19, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Aunt Flow
Oh period. How I hate thee!
I pretty sure every girl has said this. (maybe not in those exact words but you get what I mean). I hate it with a burning passion. Which is why when I only get it like 3 tomes a year I don't really complain ... Until I do get it. The pain/cramps are unbearable.
These past two days have been miserable for me. I had gotten my period Tuesday (it is now Thursday) and I wasn't really expecting it. I had gotten it in January so I figured I would get it in another 3 months or so.. So when I got it at school wasn't too happy. I hadn't gotten any pms signs. I normally get then but I get used to them meaning nothing, I didn't pay mind. So I was pretty pissed. That was in the morning. As the day progressed, I started cramping, which would normally make a girl cry but again I was used to that pain. Then came lunch. I decided I should just eat something salty to get something in my system instead of eating my entire lunch. So I chose fries. This was a bad idea bfrom then on I had to excuse myself at least 3 times from my next class to throw up the contents that were barely present in my stomach (I don't eat breakfast). I finally was fed up that I went to the nurses office. She gave me some Tylenol and made me lay down with a heating pad. Those didn't work because in the next 15 mins, I would have gotten up to upchuck the pills I just took. Let's just say anytime I tried to put something in my stomach, may it be Ginger ale, tea, chicken broth, motrin, Tylenol, midol, noodles, nothing stayed down. I was so exhausted by 8 pm that night I figured I'd just let myself starve the rest of the night. All because my cramps were like contractions. Painful.
What is wrong with me?
This isn't the first time Ive have problem with my period. Even when I first go it back in 5th grade, it still was weird. The first time I got it I think it lasted about 20 days. It supposed to last 3-7 days the most. Imagine. I thought I was dying. I think I told my mom who told my doctor and no one was that concerned. The second time I got it was. A few months after and that was for two weeks. Oh god what's wrong with me? Why am I bleeding so much? It was somewhat normal after that. Still skipping a month or two in between. I had it for 10, 7, even 4 days once. But I don't know. Something happened that I started missing a lot of months. I wasn't much of an eater so my mom would say I was losing my baby fat and a lot of weight (still think I'm huge so whatever). But at one point I realized I hadn't gotten my period for 4 months then. (this was junior year) the 4 became 5 than 6. I honestly thought I was pregnant or diseased. I'm still a virgin. So what was going on?
I finally told my mom and I was scorned at for not coming to her sooner. So she made an appointment with the gyno. He was a little short man who was really creepy. He told me that it was normal for girls like me to have irregular periods. He missed the part about me having it for 6 years already and my skipping 6 months... But cool. He didn't want rot put me on birth control since I wasn't "sexually active" so he didn't want to put me at risk. Oh I got my period that day.
The next time i got my period was another 4 months after. I went to my regular doctor. She took blood tests and stuff and said everything checked out fine. I wasn't pregnant. My hormone levels are fine. But I should do more tests. That was last summer. I got my period in October of senior year. Than in January. Then march 1.
Every single time I get my period I get really bad cramps that just make me keel over and cry because I feel like I'm having contractions. Lately they've been making me sick too. It's terrible. It scares me sometimes because no one can tell me what's wrong. I have been on numerous websites and sort of diagnosed myself. I can't remember the name but something about a cyst or cysts in my ovaries. That could be causing my painful cramps, skipped periods, and longer time. I read that it's not big deal if it's caught on time. This has been happening since 5th grade. I am now a senior in high school. No one will listen to me. Not my mother or doctors. They say I am fine and it's normal when clearly I'm not.
The one thing I'm just worried about is not being able to have kids when I'm older. I know pain and such. But there's something that being able to carry life in you and give birth to your child that I think every girl wants to do and it literally gives me panic attacks because I might not be able to. Hopefully this coming spring vacation I can convince someone to test me and give me something (doesn't have to be birth control .. Though it could come in handy) for the pain. I don't know how much I can take. I don't want to be lazy and sick and have to take days off because u can't handle what mother nature handed to me. But come on, give me one break? I want something to be normal and go correctly in my life. Is that too much to ask for?
Hopefully get answers soon,
Pami<3
I pretty sure every girl has said this. (maybe not in those exact words but you get what I mean). I hate it with a burning passion. Which is why when I only get it like 3 tomes a year I don't really complain ... Until I do get it. The pain/cramps are unbearable.
These past two days have been miserable for me. I had gotten my period Tuesday (it is now Thursday) and I wasn't really expecting it. I had gotten it in January so I figured I would get it in another 3 months or so.. So when I got it at school wasn't too happy. I hadn't gotten any pms signs. I normally get then but I get used to them meaning nothing, I didn't pay mind. So I was pretty pissed. That was in the morning. As the day progressed, I started cramping, which would normally make a girl cry but again I was used to that pain. Then came lunch. I decided I should just eat something salty to get something in my system instead of eating my entire lunch. So I chose fries. This was a bad idea bfrom then on I had to excuse myself at least 3 times from my next class to throw up the contents that were barely present in my stomach (I don't eat breakfast). I finally was fed up that I went to the nurses office. She gave me some Tylenol and made me lay down with a heating pad. Those didn't work because in the next 15 mins, I would have gotten up to upchuck the pills I just took. Let's just say anytime I tried to put something in my stomach, may it be Ginger ale, tea, chicken broth, motrin, Tylenol, midol, noodles, nothing stayed down. I was so exhausted by 8 pm that night I figured I'd just let myself starve the rest of the night. All because my cramps were like contractions. Painful.
What is wrong with me?
This isn't the first time Ive have problem with my period. Even when I first go it back in 5th grade, it still was weird. The first time I got it I think it lasted about 20 days. It supposed to last 3-7 days the most. Imagine. I thought I was dying. I think I told my mom who told my doctor and no one was that concerned. The second time I got it was. A few months after and that was for two weeks. Oh god what's wrong with me? Why am I bleeding so much? It was somewhat normal after that. Still skipping a month or two in between. I had it for 10, 7, even 4 days once. But I don't know. Something happened that I started missing a lot of months. I wasn't much of an eater so my mom would say I was losing my baby fat and a lot of weight (still think I'm huge so whatever). But at one point I realized I hadn't gotten my period for 4 months then. (this was junior year) the 4 became 5 than 6. I honestly thought I was pregnant or diseased. I'm still a virgin. So what was going on?
I finally told my mom and I was scorned at for not coming to her sooner. So she made an appointment with the gyno. He was a little short man who was really creepy. He told me that it was normal for girls like me to have irregular periods. He missed the part about me having it for 6 years already and my skipping 6 months... But cool. He didn't want rot put me on birth control since I wasn't "sexually active" so he didn't want to put me at risk. Oh I got my period that day.
The next time i got my period was another 4 months after. I went to my regular doctor. She took blood tests and stuff and said everything checked out fine. I wasn't pregnant. My hormone levels are fine. But I should do more tests. That was last summer. I got my period in October of senior year. Than in January. Then march 1.
Every single time I get my period I get really bad cramps that just make me keel over and cry because I feel like I'm having contractions. Lately they've been making me sick too. It's terrible. It scares me sometimes because no one can tell me what's wrong. I have been on numerous websites and sort of diagnosed myself. I can't remember the name but something about a cyst or cysts in my ovaries. That could be causing my painful cramps, skipped periods, and longer time. I read that it's not big deal if it's caught on time. This has been happening since 5th grade. I am now a senior in high school. No one will listen to me. Not my mother or doctors. They say I am fine and it's normal when clearly I'm not.
The one thing I'm just worried about is not being able to have kids when I'm older. I know pain and such. But there's something that being able to carry life in you and give birth to your child that I think every girl wants to do and it literally gives me panic attacks because I might not be able to. Hopefully this coming spring vacation I can convince someone to test me and give me something (doesn't have to be birth control .. Though it could come in handy) for the pain. I don't know how much I can take. I don't want to be lazy and sick and have to take days off because u can't handle what mother nature handed to me. But come on, give me one break? I want something to be normal and go correctly in my life. Is that too much to ask for?
Hopefully get answers soon,
Pami<3
Saturday, February 26, 2011
"When somebody hurts you, they take power over you. If you don't forgive them, then they keeps the power. Forgiv him baby and after you forgive him, forgive yourself."
This quote is from Tyler Perry's Diary of a Mad Black Woman. I just had a movie night with my mother and we watched two Tyler Perry movies. But for some reason, this quote stuck in my head. It is so true. Or at least I think it is.
For those who don't know the movie, here's my pathetic summary of it. There's a woman and her husband comes out and tells her he's been cheating on her and that he has two kids with the other woman. Then he proceeds to tell her that she can't live in the house, he's going to divorce her (as if he was the one who did something), and even though he's super rich, he won't give her any money. Thn drags her out of their house. The whole movie is her trying to get her strength back and courage and whatnot, also with the comic relief of Madea. When her "husband" is shot, the tramp wants the doctors to let him die, but his wife that he threw out stayed by his side. She took him home and when he gave her the same attitude instead of a "thank you", she gets even. Then she decides to stay with him a little longer and help him recover. After she does that, she divorces him and goes to find her true love (who had asked her to marry him, but she didn't answer the first time). Happy ending.
But this quote was from the woman's mother. She needed to help the guy and get him back on his feet and get him to realize what he had done. Then when she finally forgave him, she could go one with her life because she didn't have hate for anyone.
Everyone should follow this example. I'm not saying people should go back to the persons who might have physically hurt them or emotionally. But to not hold grudges against people. Really .. What's the point? There isn't any. It's just useless hot air building up inside of someone for now reason. If someone did something to you and they know it hurt you, but they feel no remorse, don't give them that satisfaction that it got to you. Play it off as if it didn't bother. And later learn to forgive and move on. One should forgive, but must never forget.
For those who don't know the movie, here's my pathetic summary of it. There's a woman and her husband comes out and tells her he's been cheating on her and that he has two kids with the other woman. Then he proceeds to tell her that she can't live in the house, he's going to divorce her (as if he was the one who did something), and even though he's super rich, he won't give her any money. Thn drags her out of their house. The whole movie is her trying to get her strength back and courage and whatnot, also with the comic relief of Madea. When her "husband" is shot, the tramp wants the doctors to let him die, but his wife that he threw out stayed by his side. She took him home and when he gave her the same attitude instead of a "thank you", she gets even. Then she decides to stay with him a little longer and help him recover. After she does that, she divorces him and goes to find her true love (who had asked her to marry him, but she didn't answer the first time). Happy ending.
But this quote was from the woman's mother. She needed to help the guy and get him back on his feet and get him to realize what he had done. Then when she finally forgave him, she could go one with her life because she didn't have hate for anyone.
Everyone should follow this example. I'm not saying people should go back to the persons who might have physically hurt them or emotionally. But to not hold grudges against people. Really .. What's the point? There isn't any. It's just useless hot air building up inside of someone for now reason. If someone did something to you and they know it hurt you, but they feel no remorse, don't give them that satisfaction that it got to you. Play it off as if it didn't bother. And later learn to forgive and move on. One should forgive, but must never forget.
Friday, February 25, 2011
"You can gain a friend in a year but lose a friend in a minute"
I think this quote is so right. This has been my life for almost a year. A few moments ago, I was reading an article that me and my friend were interviewed for. The title is "Dynamic Duo: Friends since the First Grade.." It talks about how my "best friend" and I have been friends since the first grade and inseparable... going to the same elemtentary school and high school. And shocking, we both wanted to go to the same college, but how things have changed.
We had been friends since the first grade. We always used to ponder about the first time we actually met each other, because we have always been together, it was hard to remember. We were conjoined at the hip. We graduate 8th grade together (with other friends) and we went to the same high school. We were always hanging out and sitting at lunch together. I had joined choir freshman year with other friends and I managed to get her to join later on in the year. We have been members since.
So the years went by and life was good. Something happen during our junior year that changed everything. She was allowed to date. She had a boyfriend before and she wasn;t head over heels the guy. Actually she broke up with him after like a year. She's had her guys that she liked and had this one kid that she really liked, but he fucked her over. Around the time for our musical, after she got a job, she liked this kid, who was also her coworker. She didn't really know if she liked him and thought she'd be embarrassed to go out with him because he was a tad bit shorter. But us, being good friends, some other friends and I told her to go ahead and don't worry about the height difference. If you guys like each other a lot, it shouldn't matter.
That was a mistake. (In my opinion.) She always took the kid to a my parties. I didn't have a problem with that, but it got annoying because she would cuddle with him the entire night and not really participate in the parties. She took him to prom and all she did was make out with him and didn't even pay attention to the rest of her friends. But I still stuck behind her.
The changes happened during the summer after our junior year. She had come to a party without her boytoy and she didn't even try talking to us. She just went to a corner and waited for someone to come say hi. Every said hi, but we aren't going to chase you. We all came to figure out she didn't have time for us between her job and her new boyfriend. Whenever either of us wanted to hangout, we asked her, but all of us asked her but she shut us down with either work, or going on a picnic with ****, movies with ****. She finally had sex with the kid, even though she was skeptical because he had multiple partners before had, and that would have been her first time.
Her attitude and everything else changed. She complained to others that we didn't care about her and that we didn't want to hang out with her. Even though I felt like she had ditched me for him. I might not be able to think of a specific time that she "ditched" me, but she has to other people and it's hard to know that you, her best friend, was replaced by her 3 month boyfriend and she would rather spend time with him then me. I know that sounds childish, but I believe people need to have a balance between chicks and dicks. I get it, you want to spend time with your boy, but there should be time that you have to say I'm hanging out with my girls today. It's cute when guys say it and girls too.
Whatever. She'd pick fights with out and made herself out to be the victim. Saying we always put the blame on her. I HAVE NEVER FOUGHT WITH HER OR SAID ANYTHING WAS HER FAULT BEFORE, so I don't know where her audacity came from. She got mad at me because one of our mutual friends needed help over the summer. Her dad died a few months before and just needed someone there. I had talked to her like every summer day and I got yelled at because I was talking to her more than I was talking to my "best friend". First off, when I did text her, she was always with her boo, so it wasn't like she had any time to talk to me anyways. The she got upset that I got mad closer to other friends and distant to her. Who's fault is that?
She told me she was upset that people hung out and didn't invite her. Every time I had a huge group gathering, I invited her. I had a birthday party and she didn't even come to that. Her mom told her she had do finish her homework before she could come. If she didn't miss so many school days, maybe she could have come and we wouldn't have this problem. huh? And there are times where people just want to hangout one on one, like a small group. I have a friend who lived like down the street. We decided to hangout like every week of the summer. We got really close and often like publicized we were hanging out on facebook. My other friends would hang out alot and since one had her license, it was very easy for them too. Apparently, it was wrong of us to hangout with just one person, because we left someone out. IS SHE SERIOUS? She spent every breathing moment by that bum's side and came at me saying I should have invited her ?
Now we're sort of cool. We aren't close anymore. We don't really talk outside of school. She doesn't make an effort to hangout or to even try to talk to everyone. Then she goes around saying that we don't care about her. If you aren't going to put in anything, honey, I'm not going to waste my energy. Every time I hang out with someone, I have invited her. She has yet to come to one of them. So whatever, her lost. The past few weeks she got her license and this vacation, she had her cousins car for the week. She decided to stop by my house at like 9:30 pm (with her beau of course, they aren't even going out anymore) and say hi. It was cool and all but I had been asking her if she wanted to go to the mall all day and she never answered me. The next day she asked me if I wanted to go to the mall, and she picked me up in 5 minutes. I don't know if she hit her head someplace, she must have forgotten who my parents were. Then she called at like 8 pm asking me to go to Panera. I was eating dinner at that time and she gave me attitude when I told her I couldn't go. BIG WHOOP! That's 2 to your 3895735 times you "couldn't" do anything.
It's whatever. We have out riffs. We'll be pretend friends till the end of the year, I guess. She says that her senior year sucks, but mine is going pretty good. It annoys me that she wants to go to the same college I do, but I probably won't even go there, so she can have it. I don't any of my friends or I will try to keep in contact with her after graduation. We are tired of trying and nothing happening. If she wants friends she can come to us. She's not the center of attention, sorry.
Keep your friends. Don't forget about your friends because you have a guy/girl that you like. Have a balance. And please, girls, don't open your legs to the first guy that come. -___- If you have something wrong, don't be big and bad behind text and computer and not say anything in person. It's not going to help your case. You'll just lose friends quicker. And be patient with everyone. Sometimes people don't know what they are doing. Be careful who you vent to, also. It can come to bite you in the ass.
Live, Laugh, Love,
Pami (;
We had been friends since the first grade. We always used to ponder about the first time we actually met each other, because we have always been together, it was hard to remember. We were conjoined at the hip. We graduate 8th grade together (with other friends) and we went to the same high school. We were always hanging out and sitting at lunch together. I had joined choir freshman year with other friends and I managed to get her to join later on in the year. We have been members since.
So the years went by and life was good. Something happen during our junior year that changed everything. She was allowed to date. She had a boyfriend before and she wasn;t head over heels the guy. Actually she broke up with him after like a year. She's had her guys that she liked and had this one kid that she really liked, but he fucked her over. Around the time for our musical, after she got a job, she liked this kid, who was also her coworker. She didn't really know if she liked him and thought she'd be embarrassed to go out with him because he was a tad bit shorter. But us, being good friends, some other friends and I told her to go ahead and don't worry about the height difference. If you guys like each other a lot, it shouldn't matter.
That was a mistake. (In my opinion.) She always took the kid to a my parties. I didn't have a problem with that, but it got annoying because she would cuddle with him the entire night and not really participate in the parties. She took him to prom and all she did was make out with him and didn't even pay attention to the rest of her friends. But I still stuck behind her.
The changes happened during the summer after our junior year. She had come to a party without her boytoy and she didn't even try talking to us. She just went to a corner and waited for someone to come say hi. Every said hi, but we aren't going to chase you. We all came to figure out she didn't have time for us between her job and her new boyfriend. Whenever either of us wanted to hangout, we asked her, but all of us asked her but she shut us down with either work, or going on a picnic with ****, movies with ****. She finally had sex with the kid, even though she was skeptical because he had multiple partners before had, and that would have been her first time.
Her attitude and everything else changed. She complained to others that we didn't care about her and that we didn't want to hang out with her. Even though I felt like she had ditched me for him. I might not be able to think of a specific time that she "ditched" me, but she has to other people and it's hard to know that you, her best friend, was replaced by her 3 month boyfriend and she would rather spend time with him then me. I know that sounds childish, but I believe people need to have a balance between chicks and dicks. I get it, you want to spend time with your boy, but there should be time that you have to say I'm hanging out with my girls today. It's cute when guys say it and girls too.
Whatever. She'd pick fights with out and made herself out to be the victim. Saying we always put the blame on her. I HAVE NEVER FOUGHT WITH HER OR SAID ANYTHING WAS HER FAULT BEFORE, so I don't know where her audacity came from. She got mad at me because one of our mutual friends needed help over the summer. Her dad died a few months before and just needed someone there. I had talked to her like every summer day and I got yelled at because I was talking to her more than I was talking to my "best friend". First off, when I did text her, she was always with her boo, so it wasn't like she had any time to talk to me anyways. The she got upset that I got mad closer to other friends and distant to her. Who's fault is that?
She told me she was upset that people hung out and didn't invite her. Every time I had a huge group gathering, I invited her. I had a birthday party and she didn't even come to that. Her mom told her she had do finish her homework before she could come. If she didn't miss so many school days, maybe she could have come and we wouldn't have this problem. huh? And there are times where people just want to hangout one on one, like a small group. I have a friend who lived like down the street. We decided to hangout like every week of the summer. We got really close and often like publicized we were hanging out on facebook. My other friends would hang out alot and since one had her license, it was very easy for them too. Apparently, it was wrong of us to hangout with just one person, because we left someone out. IS SHE SERIOUS? She spent every breathing moment by that bum's side and came at me saying I should have invited her ?
Now we're sort of cool. We aren't close anymore. We don't really talk outside of school. She doesn't make an effort to hangout or to even try to talk to everyone. Then she goes around saying that we don't care about her. If you aren't going to put in anything, honey, I'm not going to waste my energy. Every time I hang out with someone, I have invited her. She has yet to come to one of them. So whatever, her lost. The past few weeks she got her license and this vacation, she had her cousins car for the week. She decided to stop by my house at like 9:30 pm (with her beau of course, they aren't even going out anymore) and say hi. It was cool and all but I had been asking her if she wanted to go to the mall all day and she never answered me. The next day she asked me if I wanted to go to the mall, and she picked me up in 5 minutes. I don't know if she hit her head someplace, she must have forgotten who my parents were. Then she called at like 8 pm asking me to go to Panera. I was eating dinner at that time and she gave me attitude when I told her I couldn't go. BIG WHOOP! That's 2 to your 3895735 times you "couldn't" do anything.
It's whatever. We have out riffs. We'll be pretend friends till the end of the year, I guess. She says that her senior year sucks, but mine is going pretty good. It annoys me that she wants to go to the same college I do, but I probably won't even go there, so she can have it. I don't any of my friends or I will try to keep in contact with her after graduation. We are tired of trying and nothing happening. If she wants friends she can come to us. She's not the center of attention, sorry.
Keep your friends. Don't forget about your friends because you have a guy/girl that you like. Have a balance. And please, girls, don't open your legs to the first guy that come. -___- If you have something wrong, don't be big and bad behind text and computer and not say anything in person. It's not going to help your case. You'll just lose friends quicker. And be patient with everyone. Sometimes people don't know what they are doing. Be careful who you vent to, also. It can come to bite you in the ass.
Live, Laugh, Love,
Pami (;
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Feelings
So I am the worse person when it comes to feelings. I can't seem to hide the ones I want to hide, and don't show the ones that I should show ... If that makes sense.
One example: my feelings towards boys. I haven't really had boyfriends, maybe like two. But I have liked a couple of guys. My first major ... time liking a guy was freshman year. We started talking because my friend had mentioned he was cute. We had talked about him a little, but I wanted to meet this kid. So me being the creep, I went on myspace (oh god so long ago) and I found his screenname and IMed him. And being the "brave" one, I initiated the talking. It was just friendly talk. He somehow got my number (lol) and we talked a lot. I remember the first time we talked on the phone. It was a night my parents were going out. We were asking each other random and stupid questions from surveys that we found on myspace. So cute. I think that's where I started to like him. We talked on the phone a lot especially at night, so we wouldn't get caught. I remember he used to like the Chris Brown song "With U". I can't help but think of him when that song comes on, but it's cool. But anyways , he was a freaky kid (haha). I think I was interested in sex because of him, yet we never did anything. Well I can't say that. We did sext a lot. It was awkward at the time but I was okay with it I guess. But I regret it now. Like I don't know what happened to the things I sent him. If he showed them to people. Like come on he was a freshman, might of thought it was cool. I'd like to believe he just deleted them. Hopefully it doesn't bite me in the ass later on in life.
We clicked, or at least I thought we did. We "talked talked" seriously for about 5-6 months. We talked almost every single day and now that I look back I might have fallen for this kid. Imagine that. Hmm. Well a few month after we first talked I went to a dance at his school. He told me he wasn't going, but I still hoped he did- which he did. I remember he smelled really good and I could feel his muscles when I was dancing with him. It was kind of awkward with my friends around, but it was all good. At the end of the night, I remember he was talking to a friend. I didn't want to interupt, but I had to leave. So I went over and his friend left us alone. We talked a bit and finally I said bye and hugged him. When we hugged, I kissed him on the cheek. There he said if I wanted a kiss all I had to do was ask. So I said "kiss me". And we kissed. I might have had two kisses before that but that was the first one I really liked. I couldn't tell you how long we "made out" (according to my friends), but we were interrupted by one of his friends hollering in the back. I was mesmorized. I couldn't even see the other people in the room when I left. Before we got in my car, I told my friends not to say a word and I was silent the ride home. Thinking "omg. I kissed him. Ahh his lips!" I think the only thing I regret about the dance was not grinding with him (haha). I wanted to so bad, but he didn't want to get in trouble .. So whatever lol.
I thought everything was good, but I had gotten fed up with him not asking me out. It had been months. So I confronted him and there I was told he was moving at the end of the summer, so what was the point. We kinda made it seem like we'd never see each other again after he'd move. I remember at a church party he wanted me to go to another room, but my parets wouldn't let me. I think that was suppose to be the last time I saw him. I had beaten myself up because that. Actually, I went home and cried because I couldn't believe I didn't just get up and go see him and that was the last time I saw him. And like that, we "ended" whatever was there. I was heartbroken. I think that's where my insomnia kicked up.
So I got a "boyfriend" sophomore year but it was mostly to hide the fact I still liked him. I was thinking about him a lot, but I just wanted to stop. I don't know if I had been broken up with my boyfriend then? But he had a girlfriend and I guess they were taking "a break". I remember we were talking- he wouldn't tell me like what was wrong, but he did have the audacity to ask my to do the old things we used to do on the phone. I don't know. Maybe I took it the wrong way, but that pissed me off like unbelievably. It was like a slap to the face. It was as if I was some slut to the side that would always be there when he wanted something. That one hurt a lot. But I didn't hate him. I couldn't bring myself up to it. I still checked up on him. Made sure he was okay. I had my spies lol. But we didn't talk much after that.
Somehow I had to ask him help for an English project. I remember while talking to him I realized how much I missed talking to him. But his talking seemed as if he was annoyed with me so I didn't push it much. We remained friends, talking occasionally here and there. Oh after he moved, I think I saw him every other weekend or whenever I went to church.
Four years later, after other guys and him having a girl for 2 years, I still can't seem to bury those feelings for him from freshman year. I get a little happy seeing him wherever. I hope I don't get on his nerves when I text him. I text him quite a bit sometime. I should stop .. Hmm. But those feelings are there. They aren't like flaming like freshman year but I still can feel them. But shhh, don't tell him. I am not trying to be a homewrecker. I would never try that ... Not that I can ever be. He loves his girlfriend very much, it's so cute. Seriously. They are so cute together. He doesn't tell me much about her, but I bet she's awesome (honestly) ... she keeps him happy. That's all that matters, right?
I just hope we can stay friends even through college. I know he wants to go off to NY and forget all about me, but I'll try to keep in touch. I hate losing contact with people I'm so close with. Hm we'll just have to see then. We've been talking lately and sometime I feel like we shouldn't as much? Like maybe I'm crossing a line that I shouldn't be crossing? I wish he told me when I did, it'll be a shock, but at least I know what to control and what to say and what not to say to him. I want to keep that friendship and help it grow.
Another boy is my most recent ex. I had met him freshman year at a dance I went to to see (ha!) the kid I liked freshman year ... (Ironic?). Anyways, we would randomly check up on each other over the years with the occassional "hey ... What's up ... How's school" conversations. He had a girlfriend somewhere around sophomore year, so I dropped talking to him. You never know with these girls, they might accuse people of things. But anyways, in my junior year, my friends and I decided to go to the same dance (they had one every year around the same date at that school). My best friend and I were dancing stupidly because that's just how we are around each other. Out of nowhere, two kids come up to ask us to dance and what do you know, it was the kid I was friends with on facebook. "Wow, he got bigger and hotter," was my thought. So I told him it was me and he was as shocked as I was. We started dancing and something must have clicked because we danced at least 6 times that night. I started to get butterflies (little did I know, those wouldn't go away). During a slow dance, we caught up with each other with life and school. He slipped in that I had gotten prettier and filled out more since freshman year. The whole filling out more ... I just told myself to take it as a compliment. Anyways, we swapped numbers and went home. I was skeptical that he was going to call me because I had seen him get many numbers that night. Well, he called me the next day. Every day after that, we either texted or talked on the phone with each other.
That was February. A friend and I had organized a few events to raise money for the earthquake victims in Haiti. One of our last events was a "Caribbean Soiree". That was the next time I had seen him, in April. We hung out and danced. He was getting thirsty, so I brought him to the place where he could get water. In that room, we kissed. Any image on TV, in movies about what happens when you kiss someone (fireworks, leg going up, music) that happened. It was just like BOOM. It was great; we both knew it was right. I had never felt like that when I kissed someone. That made it official- we would talk seriously. Our best friends made it their mission "operation PM" to get us together. Well, I was in a musical production in my school that May. I had invited him, not really thinking he would come. When the curtains opened for the first scene, my eyes went straight to where he was. "OMG ! He's actually here!" from then on I knew I had to ask him to prom. Later on that day, we were playing the question game and asked him to prom. He said yes and my friends approved. I was a happy girl.
I had a gathering for all my friends and their dates so it wasn't awkward the day of. It was great. My parents met him and they approved (very hard for the Haitians to like a boy). Next week was prom and he had been dropped off at my house talking to my dad as I got ready. When I entered the room, his eyes lit up and he was looking so good in his tux. Later on he told me he couldn't focus on what my father was saying after I walked in. I really liked this kid; it was unreal. All throughout the night, he was telling me I looked beautiful and how happy he was I had invited him. It was an amazing night. At after prom, I had gotten really tired since we had to be there until 5 A.M. So I didn't really want to do anything. So we cuddled on a couch and just chilled. Couldn't have asked for better. Somewhere around 2 a.m., he had gotten really fidgety and nervous, so I asked what was wrong. There, as if I was God's favorite person in the world at that moment, he had asked me out. I was smiling for the entire day after. He was perfect. My prom night was amazing, best time I've ever had.
We just fell for each other (or I thought we did). I had gone over his house, he'd come to my parties, we'd go see fireworks for fourth of July with my family. Happiest girl alive. Then tragedy struck. Not really, but for dramatic effect. His birthday was later in July and he had wanted me to come over, but my parents weren't having it. I was 17 years old and I wasn't allowed to go see my boyfriend for his birthday. I hated them. He told me it was cool and that he'd go out with his mom. But I knew he was hurt. Later I found out his mom hated me, saying I had no morals or standards, which she had every right to be mad. It's her baby right? So that started a sequence of arguments (which we never had). He was fed up with not being able to see me whenever he could. While we were talking, I had told him that I hve THE strictest parents so I wouldn't be able to go out any time I wanted to, but I would try my best. He was upset because before July 3rd, the last time was June 22nd, our first month. So July 18th was his birthday so I couldn't see him. So I decded I'd plan a get together for the 22nd, our second month. That day we hadn't talked all day and when we did, he gave me attitude. So I figured he had forgotten our 2nd month (yes I am that type. At least acknowledge it I told him) I went to bed mad and woke up to a text saying his was sorry and that he loved me. He was just upset that his mom wouldn't let him come (understandable). That night we had an arguement and he told me that he was havig second thoughts about the relationship. It had broken my heart because not to long before he had told me he loved me. Then he realized what he said apologized and said he wouldn't just leave me like that. But he needed some change (I told him it wouldn't be over night, but I'll try). Two days later, he broke up with me.
I had a lot going on that day. I was stressed about college visits, family problems and I had heard this kid I knew had drowned earlier that morning. He knew I wasn't feeling it. But when I got home later on AIM, he had said he promised himself he wouldn't get into a relationship that he couldn't see his girlfriend, then compared our relationship and me to his last one and ex. He said it was over and that we should be friends. And as I cry while I'm writing this, I wonderig why didn't I break up with him before that happened if I knew it was coming?
I can't just stop talking to someone, especially if I have strong feelings for you. So I was the annoying ex who still texted you and tried talkig to you but always got shut down. I would get random questions just so I could talk to him. I went to his a couple of football games (I owed him at least those). The first one that I went to was in October and his team had lost. On the ride home, he was very sad but loosened up a bit. By the time I got home, I gave him a quick kiss ad was on my way. Six months of affection flooded back into my head and I was transfixed for the night. We talked the day after and he said he was really glad that
i had came and I made him feel better about the lost, but that the kiss wasn't going to save our relationship. I was crushed but I understood. The other game I went to, I went with two different friends and he barely said two words to me (his team lost again ... Honestly I think I'm bad luck). So I left angry, didn't even say bye. How could he ?! I went to another dance at his school, but it wasn't fun. I was thinking to much about everything. I was hooked on this kid badly. He and his friend had taken me and a friend to their winterball. I thought it was cute that he wanted me to go, but then realized that he was probably playing "wingman" and I was the "winggirl" for our friends. Whatever. I had fun I guess.
We spent all of New Year's talking and he mentioned that he still wanted to hook up and shit (pardon my language) but be single for college. He had come over to give me pictures from the winterball. While he was talking to my brothers, I was playing with his phone. Not creeping. Playing brickbreaker. Somehow I ended up taken a picture of my foot? So I went on his album to delete it. I had regretted my action right then and there. I saw pictures of a girl wearing a tanktop without a bra and other pictures. I was ripshit. I couldn't believe it. Worse part, it's like he knew I saw it and was taunting me asking if I liked creeping and hopefully I liked what I saw. I wanted to castrate him right then. (Ugh) I was so angry.
A few days later I texted him about some college. At the end of the conversation, he asked why I had hit him up. Someone how I missed a text because I answered the next one asking why do I put up with his bullshit. I thought if I didn't tell him now I will never be able to tell him. So I poured my heart out. Saying I still loved him 6 months later but I didn't like the cocky person he was becoming. He questioned my feelings and said he didn't get why I still loved him. I didn't get it. I was like don't you still have feelings for me? And as if he heard the question, he answered saying any and all feelings that he had for me had suppressed. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest ripped apart stomped on, then handed back in a mess. I was sick to my stomach. I had lost sleep, stressed over, didn't eat, overate, drove myself crazy over a guy who didn't have feelings for me? I felt so stupid and still do. I remember all this and still feel te same way for a guy who could care less. He still wants to be "friends" but unles I annoyingly hit him up. We won't ever talk.
His friend said that he had always been the person with a girl all throughout high school. Whether it was a girlfriend or someone he'd talk to. So he just wanted a change for college. I don't know where that story changed, but it changed about 3 times. Went from I can't see you so I won't date you, to wait till football season is over, to I want to hook up but be single for college and still be friends, to I have always been the lucky guy with a girl so I don't want one for college. (aka I want to e a whore) as you can see I am a little bitter. But u son know what to do. Still love him and all but I wonder if I dislike him. I feel so pathetic and stupid and I pray every night that I get over him or some miracle by God happens. But that's not going to happen. I can't help but to think that every thing from February to July and on .. that he had lied to me. Every single compliment, sweet talk, actions, "I love you".. was just a lie, because I didn't meet his "criteria".
Hmph, as you can see I had been thinking about this for awhile and still have more thoughts. Inhad planned this to be about feelings and how I have so many emotions running through me right now I may just call myself crazy, but u was stuck on the boys I love. Oh well I guess that's life. I can't wait to get away and start fresh (hopefully ... Cross my fingers)
Hmm gettig away and starting fresh ... That should be the next post. Till then ... Love.
Pami<3
One example: my feelings towards boys. I haven't really had boyfriends, maybe like two. But I have liked a couple of guys. My first major ... time liking a guy was freshman year. We started talking because my friend had mentioned he was cute. We had talked about him a little, but I wanted to meet this kid. So me being the creep, I went on myspace (oh god so long ago) and I found his screenname and IMed him. And being the "brave" one, I initiated the talking. It was just friendly talk. He somehow got my number (lol) and we talked a lot. I remember the first time we talked on the phone. It was a night my parents were going out. We were asking each other random and stupid questions from surveys that we found on myspace. So cute. I think that's where I started to like him. We talked on the phone a lot especially at night, so we wouldn't get caught. I remember he used to like the Chris Brown song "With U". I can't help but think of him when that song comes on, but it's cool. But anyways , he was a freaky kid (haha). I think I was interested in sex because of him, yet we never did anything. Well I can't say that. We did sext a lot. It was awkward at the time but I was okay with it I guess. But I regret it now. Like I don't know what happened to the things I sent him. If he showed them to people. Like come on he was a freshman, might of thought it was cool. I'd like to believe he just deleted them. Hopefully it doesn't bite me in the ass later on in life.
We clicked, or at least I thought we did. We "talked talked" seriously for about 5-6 months. We talked almost every single day and now that I look back I might have fallen for this kid. Imagine that. Hmm. Well a few month after we first talked I went to a dance at his school. He told me he wasn't going, but I still hoped he did- which he did. I remember he smelled really good and I could feel his muscles when I was dancing with him. It was kind of awkward with my friends around, but it was all good. At the end of the night, I remember he was talking to a friend. I didn't want to interupt, but I had to leave. So I went over and his friend left us alone. We talked a bit and finally I said bye and hugged him. When we hugged, I kissed him on the cheek. There he said if I wanted a kiss all I had to do was ask. So I said "kiss me". And we kissed. I might have had two kisses before that but that was the first one I really liked. I couldn't tell you how long we "made out" (according to my friends), but we were interrupted by one of his friends hollering in the back. I was mesmorized. I couldn't even see the other people in the room when I left. Before we got in my car, I told my friends not to say a word and I was silent the ride home. Thinking "omg. I kissed him. Ahh his lips!" I think the only thing I regret about the dance was not grinding with him (haha). I wanted to so bad, but he didn't want to get in trouble .. So whatever lol.
I thought everything was good, but I had gotten fed up with him not asking me out. It had been months. So I confronted him and there I was told he was moving at the end of the summer, so what was the point. We kinda made it seem like we'd never see each other again after he'd move. I remember at a church party he wanted me to go to another room, but my parets wouldn't let me. I think that was suppose to be the last time I saw him. I had beaten myself up because that. Actually, I went home and cried because I couldn't believe I didn't just get up and go see him and that was the last time I saw him. And like that, we "ended" whatever was there. I was heartbroken. I think that's where my insomnia kicked up.
So I got a "boyfriend" sophomore year but it was mostly to hide the fact I still liked him. I was thinking about him a lot, but I just wanted to stop. I don't know if I had been broken up with my boyfriend then? But he had a girlfriend and I guess they were taking "a break". I remember we were talking- he wouldn't tell me like what was wrong, but he did have the audacity to ask my to do the old things we used to do on the phone. I don't know. Maybe I took it the wrong way, but that pissed me off like unbelievably. It was like a slap to the face. It was as if I was some slut to the side that would always be there when he wanted something. That one hurt a lot. But I didn't hate him. I couldn't bring myself up to it. I still checked up on him. Made sure he was okay. I had my spies lol. But we didn't talk much after that.
Somehow I had to ask him help for an English project. I remember while talking to him I realized how much I missed talking to him. But his talking seemed as if he was annoyed with me so I didn't push it much. We remained friends, talking occasionally here and there. Oh after he moved, I think I saw him every other weekend or whenever I went to church.
Four years later, after other guys and him having a girl for 2 years, I still can't seem to bury those feelings for him from freshman year. I get a little happy seeing him wherever. I hope I don't get on his nerves when I text him. I text him quite a bit sometime. I should stop .. Hmm. But those feelings are there. They aren't like flaming like freshman year but I still can feel them. But shhh, don't tell him. I am not trying to be a homewrecker. I would never try that ... Not that I can ever be. He loves his girlfriend very much, it's so cute. Seriously. They are so cute together. He doesn't tell me much about her, but I bet she's awesome (honestly) ... she keeps him happy. That's all that matters, right?
I just hope we can stay friends even through college. I know he wants to go off to NY and forget all about me, but I'll try to keep in touch. I hate losing contact with people I'm so close with. Hm we'll just have to see then. We've been talking lately and sometime I feel like we shouldn't as much? Like maybe I'm crossing a line that I shouldn't be crossing? I wish he told me when I did, it'll be a shock, but at least I know what to control and what to say and what not to say to him. I want to keep that friendship and help it grow.
Another boy is my most recent ex. I had met him freshman year at a dance I went to to see (ha!) the kid I liked freshman year ... (Ironic?). Anyways, we would randomly check up on each other over the years with the occassional "hey ... What's up ... How's school" conversations. He had a girlfriend somewhere around sophomore year, so I dropped talking to him. You never know with these girls, they might accuse people of things. But anyways, in my junior year, my friends and I decided to go to the same dance (they had one every year around the same date at that school). My best friend and I were dancing stupidly because that's just how we are around each other. Out of nowhere, two kids come up to ask us to dance and what do you know, it was the kid I was friends with on facebook. "Wow, he got bigger and hotter," was my thought. So I told him it was me and he was as shocked as I was. We started dancing and something must have clicked because we danced at least 6 times that night. I started to get butterflies (little did I know, those wouldn't go away). During a slow dance, we caught up with each other with life and school. He slipped in that I had gotten prettier and filled out more since freshman year. The whole filling out more ... I just told myself to take it as a compliment. Anyways, we swapped numbers and went home. I was skeptical that he was going to call me because I had seen him get many numbers that night. Well, he called me the next day. Every day after that, we either texted or talked on the phone with each other.
That was February. A friend and I had organized a few events to raise money for the earthquake victims in Haiti. One of our last events was a "Caribbean Soiree". That was the next time I had seen him, in April. We hung out and danced. He was getting thirsty, so I brought him to the place where he could get water. In that room, we kissed. Any image on TV, in movies about what happens when you kiss someone (fireworks, leg going up, music) that happened. It was just like BOOM. It was great; we both knew it was right. I had never felt like that when I kissed someone. That made it official- we would talk seriously. Our best friends made it their mission "operation PM" to get us together. Well, I was in a musical production in my school that May. I had invited him, not really thinking he would come. When the curtains opened for the first scene, my eyes went straight to where he was. "OMG ! He's actually here!" from then on I knew I had to ask him to prom. Later on that day, we were playing the question game and asked him to prom. He said yes and my friends approved. I was a happy girl.
I had a gathering for all my friends and their dates so it wasn't awkward the day of. It was great. My parents met him and they approved (very hard for the Haitians to like a boy). Next week was prom and he had been dropped off at my house talking to my dad as I got ready. When I entered the room, his eyes lit up and he was looking so good in his tux. Later on he told me he couldn't focus on what my father was saying after I walked in. I really liked this kid; it was unreal. All throughout the night, he was telling me I looked beautiful and how happy he was I had invited him. It was an amazing night. At after prom, I had gotten really tired since we had to be there until 5 A.M. So I didn't really want to do anything. So we cuddled on a couch and just chilled. Couldn't have asked for better. Somewhere around 2 a.m., he had gotten really fidgety and nervous, so I asked what was wrong. There, as if I was God's favorite person in the world at that moment, he had asked me out. I was smiling for the entire day after. He was perfect. My prom night was amazing, best time I've ever had.
We just fell for each other (or I thought we did). I had gone over his house, he'd come to my parties, we'd go see fireworks for fourth of July with my family. Happiest girl alive. Then tragedy struck. Not really, but for dramatic effect. His birthday was later in July and he had wanted me to come over, but my parents weren't having it. I was 17 years old and I wasn't allowed to go see my boyfriend for his birthday. I hated them. He told me it was cool and that he'd go out with his mom. But I knew he was hurt. Later I found out his mom hated me, saying I had no morals or standards, which she had every right to be mad. It's her baby right? So that started a sequence of arguments (which we never had). He was fed up with not being able to see me whenever he could. While we were talking, I had told him that I hve THE strictest parents so I wouldn't be able to go out any time I wanted to, but I would try my best. He was upset because before July 3rd, the last time was June 22nd, our first month. So July 18th was his birthday so I couldn't see him. So I decded I'd plan a get together for the 22nd, our second month. That day we hadn't talked all day and when we did, he gave me attitude. So I figured he had forgotten our 2nd month (yes I am that type. At least acknowledge it I told him) I went to bed mad and woke up to a text saying his was sorry and that he loved me. He was just upset that his mom wouldn't let him come (understandable). That night we had an arguement and he told me that he was havig second thoughts about the relationship. It had broken my heart because not to long before he had told me he loved me. Then he realized what he said apologized and said he wouldn't just leave me like that. But he needed some change (I told him it wouldn't be over night, but I'll try). Two days later, he broke up with me.
I had a lot going on that day. I was stressed about college visits, family problems and I had heard this kid I knew had drowned earlier that morning. He knew I wasn't feeling it. But when I got home later on AIM, he had said he promised himself he wouldn't get into a relationship that he couldn't see his girlfriend, then compared our relationship and me to his last one and ex. He said it was over and that we should be friends. And as I cry while I'm writing this, I wonderig why didn't I break up with him before that happened if I knew it was coming?
I can't just stop talking to someone, especially if I have strong feelings for you. So I was the annoying ex who still texted you and tried talkig to you but always got shut down. I would get random questions just so I could talk to him. I went to his a couple of football games (I owed him at least those). The first one that I went to was in October and his team had lost. On the ride home, he was very sad but loosened up a bit. By the time I got home, I gave him a quick kiss ad was on my way. Six months of affection flooded back into my head and I was transfixed for the night. We talked the day after and he said he was really glad that
i had came and I made him feel better about the lost, but that the kiss wasn't going to save our relationship. I was crushed but I understood. The other game I went to, I went with two different friends and he barely said two words to me (his team lost again ... Honestly I think I'm bad luck). So I left angry, didn't even say bye. How could he ?! I went to another dance at his school, but it wasn't fun. I was thinking to much about everything. I was hooked on this kid badly. He and his friend had taken me and a friend to their winterball. I thought it was cute that he wanted me to go, but then realized that he was probably playing "wingman" and I was the "winggirl" for our friends. Whatever. I had fun I guess.
We spent all of New Year's talking and he mentioned that he still wanted to hook up and shit (pardon my language) but be single for college. He had come over to give me pictures from the winterball. While he was talking to my brothers, I was playing with his phone. Not creeping. Playing brickbreaker. Somehow I ended up taken a picture of my foot? So I went on his album to delete it. I had regretted my action right then and there. I saw pictures of a girl wearing a tanktop without a bra and other pictures. I was ripshit. I couldn't believe it. Worse part, it's like he knew I saw it and was taunting me asking if I liked creeping and hopefully I liked what I saw. I wanted to castrate him right then. (Ugh) I was so angry.
A few days later I texted him about some college. At the end of the conversation, he asked why I had hit him up. Someone how I missed a text because I answered the next one asking why do I put up with his bullshit. I thought if I didn't tell him now I will never be able to tell him. So I poured my heart out. Saying I still loved him 6 months later but I didn't like the cocky person he was becoming. He questioned my feelings and said he didn't get why I still loved him. I didn't get it. I was like don't you still have feelings for me? And as if he heard the question, he answered saying any and all feelings that he had for me had suppressed. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest ripped apart stomped on, then handed back in a mess. I was sick to my stomach. I had lost sleep, stressed over, didn't eat, overate, drove myself crazy over a guy who didn't have feelings for me? I felt so stupid and still do. I remember all this and still feel te same way for a guy who could care less. He still wants to be "friends" but unles I annoyingly hit him up. We won't ever talk.
His friend said that he had always been the person with a girl all throughout high school. Whether it was a girlfriend or someone he'd talk to. So he just wanted a change for college. I don't know where that story changed, but it changed about 3 times. Went from I can't see you so I won't date you, to wait till football season is over, to I want to hook up but be single for college and still be friends, to I have always been the lucky guy with a girl so I don't want one for college. (aka I want to e a whore) as you can see I am a little bitter. But u son know what to do. Still love him and all but I wonder if I dislike him. I feel so pathetic and stupid and I pray every night that I get over him or some miracle by God happens. But that's not going to happen. I can't help but to think that every thing from February to July and on .. that he had lied to me. Every single compliment, sweet talk, actions, "I love you".. was just a lie, because I didn't meet his "criteria".
Hmph, as you can see I had been thinking about this for awhile and still have more thoughts. Inhad planned this to be about feelings and how I have so many emotions running through me right now I may just call myself crazy, but u was stuck on the boys I love. Oh well I guess that's life. I can't wait to get away and start fresh (hopefully ... Cross my fingers)
Hmm gettig away and starting fresh ... That should be the next post. Till then ... Love.
Pami<3
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Blog Title?
Hey. My name's Pamela and I am a senior in high school. I have always wanted to start a blog, but I didn't think I had anything worth reading. I still don't think I have anything worth reading, but I made one anyway. So hopefully this blog will grow with me.
I was born in Haiti and have not been there since I left. Although there is a ton of problems there, I would love love love to go see it one day. "Ayiti Cheri'm"
I sing and dance. I used to take dance classes when I was little, but the tuition started to become to pricey so I had to stop. Maybe I can continue it in college. I sing in two choirs: Church and school. I also love performing in my school's musicals. I have been in Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, and Footloose.
Hmmm, what else can I say about myself? I don't normally type proper English unless it's a school paper, so I might just post blogs as if I am on FB chat or AIM. I type what I am thinking so there will be a lot of "lol" "haha" "-___-" and smileys ! (:
I am very sarcastic and a mean procrastinator .. I'll change .. eventually.
I had applied to 10 schools for college, I have heard from 5 already. Got into all so far, but my number one school hasn't answered me yet. WISH ME LUCK!
Now that I have summarized my life, maybe I should explain my blog title ? Well I'm a big fan of music, and I was listening to my ipod when I was making this blog. And I was thinking "what should be my title? of course it has to be a song title or lyrics from a song. but what??" And Jordin Sparks One Step at a Time came on and I thought it was perfect. I don't really know how to blog, but to just write down what I'm thinking (sort of like facebook and twitter together? maybe? i tried). So this will be a process. We all will take this and life "one step at a time."
Peace, Love and Happiness,
Pami<3
I was born in Haiti and have not been there since I left. Although there is a ton of problems there, I would love love love to go see it one day. "Ayiti Cheri'm"
I sing and dance. I used to take dance classes when I was little, but the tuition started to become to pricey so I had to stop. Maybe I can continue it in college. I sing in two choirs: Church and school. I also love performing in my school's musicals. I have been in Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, and Footloose.
Hmmm, what else can I say about myself? I don't normally type proper English unless it's a school paper, so I might just post blogs as if I am on FB chat or AIM. I type what I am thinking so there will be a lot of "lol" "haha" "-___-" and smileys ! (:
I am very sarcastic and a mean procrastinator .. I'll change .. eventually.
I had applied to 10 schools for college, I have heard from 5 already. Got into all so far, but my number one school hasn't answered me yet. WISH ME LUCK!
Now that I have summarized my life, maybe I should explain my blog title ? Well I'm a big fan of music, and I was listening to my ipod when I was making this blog. And I was thinking "what should be my title? of course it has to be a song title or lyrics from a song. but what??" And Jordin Sparks One Step at a Time came on and I thought it was perfect. I don't really know how to blog, but to just write down what I'm thinking (sort of like facebook and twitter together? maybe? i tried). So this will be a process. We all will take this and life "one step at a time."
Peace, Love and Happiness,
Pami<3
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