Aunt Flow

Oh period. How I hate thee!

I pretty sure every girl has said this. (maybe not in those exact words but you get what I mean). I hate it with a burning passion. Which is why when I only get it like 3 tomes a year I don't really complain ... Until I do get it. The pain/cramps are unbearable.

These past two days have been miserable for me. I had gotten my period Tuesday (it is now Thursday) and I wasn't really expecting it. I had gotten it in January so I figured I would get it in another 3 months or so.. So when I got it at school wasn't too happy. I hadn't gotten any pms signs. I normally get then but I get used to them meaning nothing, I didn't pay mind. So I was pretty pissed. That was in the morning. As the day progressed, I started cramping, which would normally make a girl cry but again I was used to that pain. Then came lunch. I decided I should just eat something salty to get something in my system instead of eating my entire lunch. So I chose fries. This was a bad idea bfrom then on I had to excuse myself at least 3 times from my next class to throw up the contents that were barely present in my stomach (I don't eat breakfast). I finally was fed up that I went to the nurses office. She gave me some Tylenol and made me lay down with a heating pad. Those didn't work because in the next 15 mins, I would have gotten up to upchuck the pills I just took. Let's just say anytime I tried to put something in my stomach, may it be Ginger ale, tea, chicken broth, motrin, Tylenol, midol, noodles, nothing stayed down. I was so exhausted by 8 pm that night I figured I'd just let myself starve the rest of the night. All because my cramps were like contractions. Painful.

What is wrong with me?

This isn't the first time Ive have problem with my period. Even when I first go it back in 5th grade, it still was weird. The first time I got it I think it lasted about 20 days. It supposed to last 3-7 days the most. Imagine. I thought I was dying. I think I told my mom who told my doctor and no one was that concerned. The second time I got it was. A few months after and that was for two weeks. Oh god what's wrong with me? Why am I bleeding so much? It was somewhat normal after that. Still skipping a month or two in between. I had it for 10, 7, even 4 days once. But I don't know. Something happened that I started missing a lot of months. I wasn't much of an eater so my mom would say I was losing my baby fat and a lot of weight (still think I'm huge so whatever). But at one point I realized I hadn't gotten my period for 4 months then. (this was junior year) the 4 became 5 than 6. I honestly thought I was pregnant or diseased. I'm still a virgin. So what was going on?

I finally told my mom and I was scorned at for not coming to her sooner. So she made an appointment with the gyno. He was a little short man who was really creepy. He told me that it was normal for girls like me to have irregular periods. He missed the part about me having it for 6 years already and my skipping 6 months... But cool. He didn't want rot put me on birth control since I wasn't "sexually active" so he didn't want to put me at risk. Oh I got my period that day.

The next time i got my period was another 4 months after. I went to my regular doctor. She took blood tests and stuff and said everything checked out fine. I wasn't pregnant. My hormone levels are fine. But I should do more tests. That was last summer. I got my period in October of senior year. Than in January. Then march 1.

Every single time I get my period I get really bad cramps that just make me keel over and cry because I feel like I'm having contractions. Lately they've been making me sick too. It's terrible. It scares me sometimes because no one can tell me what's wrong. I have been on numerous websites and sort of diagnosed myself. I can't remember the name but something about a cyst or cysts in my ovaries. That could be causing my painful cramps, skipped periods, and longer time. I read that it's not big deal if it's caught on time. This has been happening since 5th grade. I am now a senior in high school. No one will listen to me. Not my mother or doctors. They say I am fine and it's normal when clearly I'm not.

The one thing I'm just worried about is not being able to have kids when I'm older. I know pain and such. But there's something that being able to carry life in you and give birth to your child that I think every girl wants to do and it literally gives me panic attacks because I might not be able to. Hopefully this coming spring vacation I can convince someone to test me and give me something (doesn't have to be birth control .. Though it could come in handy) for the pain. I don't know how much I can take. I don't want to be lazy and sick and have to take days off because u can't handle what mother nature handed to me. But come on, give me one break? I want something to be normal and go correctly in my life. Is that too much to ask for?


Hopefully get answers soon,
Pami<3